I’d been to Plum Village Monastery in France many times, but one time I visited with my partner Bob. I planned to stay for a week, while Bob planned to stay for 4 or 5 days and then explore the nearby city of Bordeaux.
At first, things went well, but then there seemed to be a wall between us, and after 2 days he told me he was leaving the next morning. I felt hurt and was questioning our relationship, wondering if he really was right for me.
That place of hurt and resentment is no fun, and the thoughts that came with it were laced with harsh judgment, pessimism, and despair. I was confused and angry, and the question of what to do would not leave me alone.
Then I had tea with a stranger. He suggested I write down all the things I appreciate about Bob. Once I started writing, my heart opened up, and my love for him was re-kindled.
When I met him on the train in Bordeaux a few days later, the love was still there. I read to him the list of things I appreciate about him, and then told him my experience of the wall and the hurt. I was able to tell him exactly what happened with love in my heart. That was almost 5 years ago, and today we are still together and I love him more than ever.
This Wed Oct 26 we’re going to take a break from working through the verses in Reflections on Silver River and explore a Zen practice of conflict resolution called Beginning Anew.
See you there,